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..Vertical: Causing dizziness.Surface Area: Where the waitress will bring your food.Why do the Pope and the Cardinals wear skullcaps (as do all Orthodox Jews)? Because when they reach that level in the Catholic hierarchy, they tell them the truth.A Rabbi and a Priest were discussing professional advancement. The priest said that with qualified priests, they can become monsignors.The rabbi asked, “And then what?”“Well”, said the priest, “if they’re really qualified, they can become bishops.”The rabbi asked, “And then what?”The priest replied, “If they’re very qualified they can become archbishops.”The rabbi asked, “And then what?”The priest continued, “If they’re exceptionally qualified, they can become cardinals.”And the rabbi asked, “And then what?”The priest said, “If they’re uniquely qualified they can become Pope.”And the rabbi asked, “And THEN what?”The shocked priest asked the rabbi, “What do you mean, And THEN what? Do you think he can become God?”“Well”, said the rabbi, “One. Her tips, I guess, though I don’t really care where it came from. It’s mine now. No. Taking his car would be dumb. He’d report it stolen and they’d find me. I need to know what time it is, but I don’t want to look at my alarm clock on the bedside table. I don’t want him to know I’m awake. If he knows I’m awake, he’s going to fuck me for sure. Last thing I want. Rather wait another day to leave than to feel him on top of me again. Inside me… Cold sweats. Shit I think I’m gonna be sick. Breathe… It was 3:27 AM when he came in my room. I peeked the second I heard the doorknob turn. How long has it been? An hour? How long can a drunk stay hard for fuck’s sake? The bed stopped jiggling. This could go either way, either he’s about to fuck me, either he’s finally passed out. Don’t touch me, don’t touch me, don’t fucking touch me. Josh’s breathing is deep and even. Looks like tonight really is the night it all ends. My heart is beating so hard, so fast I hope it doesn’t wake him up. My.
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